How to Check Incognito Searches and Monitor Your Kids’ Devices

Let’s face it—keeping up with our kids’ online activities can be overwhelming, especially when they’re using features like incognito mode to browse privately. While I am a big proponent of open conversations and working through it all together, I know there's times where parents just need to do more and know more. I get asked all the time about how parents can check browser history when it's in incognito. I’ve got you covered with a simple guide to help you stay on top of things, even if you’re not a tech expert.

1. Checking Incognito Searches:

Incognito or private browsing won’t show up in your browser history, but there are still ways to keep track of your child’s online activity.

• Router Logs: Your home’s Wi-Fi router often logs the websites that devices on your network visit. Access your router’s settings by entering its IP address (found on the back of the router or in the user manual) into a browser. From there, look for a “Logs” or “History” section. This might sound complicated, but there are many step-by-step guides online specific to your router model. (Fun Fact, my husband will be leading a webinar on this very soon!)

• Parental Control Software: Consider using parental control software like Qustodio or Net Nanny. These tools monitor all browsing activity, including incognito sessions, and can send you alerts if they detect anything inappropriate. Parental control software is a very high level of control (as it says in the name). I'm not a fan of spying, nor invasions of privacy, but I'm well aware there are parents and situations out there calling for it.

2. Monitoring Content on Android Devices:

Even with incognito mode, there are still ways to see what your child is doing on their Android device.

• Activity Controls:

  • Go to Settings > Google > Manage Your Google Account > Data & Personalization > Activity Controls.

  • Ensure Web & App Activity is turned on. This keeps a record of websites visited, even in incognito mode, if they’re logged into their Google account. While they don't have to know it's tracking incognito tabs, it's good to have the conversation about how you're monitoring in order to help guide them and help them make good choices.

• Google Family Link:

  • Download Google Family Link from the Play Store on your child’s device and your own.

  • Once linked, you can monitor app usage, set screen time limits, and even see their location. I strongly encourage setting this up together and discussing it with your child, so that it becomes a lesson in modeling appropriate use.

• Manual Check:

  • Open the browser on their phone (Chrome, Firefox, etc.) and go to the history tab. Please do this with them, allowing them to talk and express reasons should you come across inappropriate content. They will mess up. They will explore. They will get curious. Keep the conversation safe, respectful and teachable.

  • Don’t forget to check YouTube history by opening the YouTube app > Library > History.

3. Monitoring Content on iPhones:

iPhones come with built-in tools that make it easier to monitor your child’s activities (but they are notorious for glitching).

• Screen Time:

  • Go to Settings > Screen Time and ensure it’s turned on. Set up a Screen Time passcode so only you can change the settings. We did this when my kids were younger, but we had a conversation about it and explained why we were doing it. We turned it into a digital wellness conversation, teaching them healthy digital habits.

  • From here, you can see which apps are being used the most and set limits for specific apps.

• Content & Privacy Restrictions:

  • Go to Settings > Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions.

  • Here, you can restrict websites, prevent adult content, and even block apps. Let them know why you're making the choices that you are, and allow them to ask questions about it.

  • Check browsing history with them by going to Settings > Safari > Advanced > Website Data. This shows a list of websites visited.

4. Monitoring Content on Mac Computers:

If your child uses a Mac, here’s how you can stay in the loop:

• Screen Time on macOS:

  • Go to Apple Menu > System Preferences > Screen Time.

  • Click Options in the lower-left corner and select Use Screen Time Passcode. This stops kids from changing the settings. Again, talk about it.

  • You can monitor app usage, set time limits, and view website activity here. Turn this into an issue of digital wellness, not spying.

• Manual Browser Checks:

  • For Safari: Open Safari and click History in the menu bar. It shows a list of recently visited websites.

  • For Chrome or Firefox: Open the browser and press Cmd + Y to see the browsing history.

5. Have the Conversation:

• Open Dialogue: While these tools are helpful, it’s essential to have ongoing conversations with your kids about why you’re monitoring their activity. Emphasize that it’s not about spying but keeping them safe and helping them make smart choices online.

• Educate and Empower: Teach your kids about the potential dangers of the internet and encourage them to come to you with any concerns. The goal is to build trust and guide them toward responsible digital behavior. You can help educate and empower them further using the resources on my site.

What are your biggest challenges when it comes to managing your child’s screen time?