Gifting Devices This Holiday Season: A Parent’s Guide to Setting Your Tween Up for Success

The Excitement of That First Device

I recently shared a post on gifting devices that got a lot of attention. The holidays are here, and your tween has dropped all the hints. 'Everyone has one!' or 'It’s the only thing I really want.' You’ve decided to gift a device—but now what? The excitement, the gratitude (we hope), the unboxing experience (because it's all about the unboxing!)—it’s a core memory in the making...the first device. But gifting a device isn’t just handing over a shiny gadget to use willy nilly; it’s giving your child access to a world of possibilities and responsibilities, yes, but it comes with challenges too.

Without clear guidance, a device might feel like a free pass to endless screen time and unmonitored apps for your tween or teen. That’s probably NOT what you’re envisioning, but it can happen before you know it without taking the right steps in a gifting situation. So, how do we gift devices in a way that fosters responsible use, encourages independence, and promotes healthy digital habits? Let me be clear, there will always be two sides on devices and kids...for and against. If you're reading this, you're probably on team "for" and looking for help. Let’s dive into some practical tips.

1. Set It Up Before Wrapping

The unboxing is part of the thrill, but fumbling through setup right after can kill the vibe, especially for the younger kiddos. This section is for those setting up a device for younger kids...you know, the functional settings. Older teens probably love to unbox and walk through the steps as it's part of the "unboxing experience".

Before you wrap that gift:

• Charge the device fully.

• Insert a SIM card (if needed) and ensure the phone number is active.

• Install essential apps or software updates so it’s ready to use.

• Connect to your home WiFi network.

• Add it/pair it to your home security monitoring network if using.

This way, your child can jump into the excitement of their new device immediately, while you maintain control over the initial setup.

2. Set the Tone with a Family Tech Plan

As soon as the wrapping paper settles and the squeals are over, it’s time to set expectations. Make it clear that owning a device comes with shared agreements and boundaries. 

Use tools like my Family Tech Plan to:

• Decide when and where the device can be used (e.g., no phones in bedrooms at night).

• Establish rules about device use time limits and balance.

• Create a schedule for reviewing and revisiting these agreements together.

These are just a few suggestions, but I have many more in the tech plan that you can pick and choose from. For tweens, this conversation might look more like setting rules, but you're explaining and sharing your expectations while they learn through co-viewing/co-using. For teens, it’s essential to have a two-way discussion to include their perspective while ensuring your boundaries remain intact, which helps develop essential skills of agency and developing autonomy.

3. Be Intentional About Apps

The first apps on a device set the tone for its use. Let me say that again. The first apps on a device set the tone for its use. This means, it's purpose and how it's valued in the family. Work together to choose apps that align with your values and your child’s needs. 

Focus on:

Creative apps: like drawing tools, coding experiences or video editing platforms.

Learning apps: like language tools or research databases.

Communication apps: for staying connected with family and close friends (being aware of pitfalls of some communication apps).

Tips: First devices are meant for co-sharing/co-viewing. Think of it like a gradual release model. You mentor, you teach and you help learn from mistakes, all while they learn, practice and develop responsibility. As time goes on, you'll discuss and review new app requests and the benefits and pitfalls of each. Keep in mind options like Messenger Kids and Instagram Teen Accounts. Use resources like Common Sense Media to research app recommendations and privacy tips.

4. Walk Through Privacy and Security Settings

Every new device and app comes with a host of privacy settings that many kids (and parents!) overlook. 

Sit down together and go through:

• Public vs. private profiles.

• GPS and location sharing features.

• Direct messaging permissions.

• Profile avatars or usernames to ensure they’re age-appropriate and secure.

This is also a great moment to discuss the “why” behind your decisions. Be open from day 1! Explain how these settings protect their safety and privacy online, and that you'll be checking in on these things along the way because they're extremely important and a part of device responsibility. 

5. Teach the Difference Between Needs and Wants

Device ownership is a perfect opportunity to discuss responsibility, permission, and budgeting. 

Talk about:

• Needs vs. wants when downloading apps or making in-app purchases (with permission).

• The importance of taking care of their device physically (e.g., using a case, charging it, data plans).

• Responsibility for using it appropriately and in safe spaces.

6. Gift My Digital Wellness Course for the Complete Package

If you’re looking for the perfect complement to that shiny new device, consider gifting my online course for tweens and teens. 

Designed specifically to help kids navigate the digital world with confidence, this course covers:

• Tackle the culture of comparison on social platforms.

• Understanding healthy screen habits.

• Cultivate healthy routines.

• Recognize their personal boundaries and manage digital interruptions.

It’s a meaningful way to ensure your child starts their digital journey with the tools they need to thrive. I've even had parents complete the course with their kids, and even take it on their own!

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Just Gifting a Device

When you gift a device, you’re opening the door to new opportunities—but also new challenges. By taking the time to set boundaries, develop open communication, and introduce healthy habits, you’re giving them the best possible start.

Looking for more guidance?

Check out my Family Tech Plan here.

Gift the full digital wellness package with my online course!